What's Happening to Me?
by Dr. Aki MM
Summary: Exactly what the title says. What IS happening to Ranma?


What's happening to me?

Or

Fate, Destiny, and the right way to get Sailor Pluto Ticked Off.

By: Dr. Aki Huang, Ph.D. in Mischief and Mayhem.

By: EpicGuy.

We are one and the same. Just multiple instances of multiple personalities in multiple realities…or dimensions. Scary, ain't it?

" "        Speech

' '            Thoughts

The standard disclaimer goes here. Ranma 1/2 is the work of the author, as is Bishoujou Senshi Sailor Moon. We might have borrowed some lines from some other authors that we have read…but we forget whose they are. If you're one, you're part of this disclaimer.

For those that We know:

Jared Ornstead, for the 'Destiny object' type thing.

Benjamin D. Oliver, for the 'Heavy, Blunt Object™'. – We're only doing one cameo. If any.

David Weber, for a paragraph of Chapter 28 in On Basilisk Station. 

-Update for Wednesday, November 20, 2002 

The dark blade whispered through the night air, slicing all in its path. Its wielder danced in the night, parrying blows that would have smote a lesser man, and answering with something far worse. He answered with the deft touch. He never lingered on one for long. For each he faced, he spent only a few seconds. As he slew more and more, each he felled gave him their lives, making him avenge those who awoke them in unnatural slumber. Their bones rested broken, forever more. Their spirits infused the wielder of the blade, and they joined with him. As each spirit comes to him, he began to glow. Each addition infused his powerful corona, making it glow ever brighter. When he slew them all, and stood alone, in a field of undeath and broken bones, he felt the force changing within him. He howled in triumph towards the moon. As his aura shrank, it became blindingly bright. The ground beneath him blistered, smoldered, and burned under its fiery wrath. When it was all but gone, he fell to a knee, panting for breath. As if rejuvenated, he stood and let out another bone-chilling howl. A glowing apparition began to form on his back. It grew until it ripped through his black cloak, revealing two intensely bright wings, each twice as long as he was tall. They folded around him, enveloping him in their powerful glory, and making him a glowing ball of energy. The ball lay there for some time, changing him, until it suddenly ripped in two. The wings unveiled his new form, which appeared tempered with the fiery flames of experience and power. With a jump, he soundlessly ejected himself into the air as his wings stretched to their full glory and let him soar through the night sky. 

"Aah!" Ranma rubbed his eyes groggily. "What the _hell_ was that?"

Ever since the events of Mount Pheonix, he hadn't been feeling himself. What was happening to him? He wasn't sleeping well. If _your_ stupid Panda-for-a-father woke you up every day at the crack of dawn for this supposed 'training', you needed your sleep. Badly. Normally, it wouldn't be a problem. School was for sleeping. What else was it for? Since when was Edo period history or Algebra last used? In the Meiji era, maybe?

He wasn't taking this well. It wasn't something he could use his fists with. 'Damn, now _that's_ something I'm good at.'

'Hmm…let's see…what do I know?

1. My name is Ranma Saotome.

2. I have a fiancée problem.

3. I just killed Saffron not more than six months ago.

4. Killing anyone, even a god that he knew would be reborn, was plain _wrong_.

5. A martial artist doesn't kill.

6. My mom has a seppuku contract if I'm not manly enough.

I may not be able to do calculus, but I sure can add. That adds to…something _not_ good.'

What Ranma did not know, however, was that he carried a 'May you live in interesting times' curse. A veeery ancient and powerful curse is it. Yes, powerful. 

Never a one for sitting around and doing nothing, Ranma got up and trudged out of the Tendo home. 'Maybe the stars could help,' he mused. 

As he leapt up onto the roof above his bedroom, he pondered, as he always did. 

'What can I do with my life? Martial arts are my life. Yeah, but so what? You killed a god. You can kill almost anyone. What do you think you're going to do now? Go on and kill people who threaten you? Who's next? Ryouga? Kuno? Kami knows that they're not going to be a challenge. What now? I'm sure as _hell_ not going to marry that kawaiikune tomboy. Shampoo? And have the Ghoul for a 'great-grandmother'? No, thank you. Ukyou? You know, by looking at her, I'd say she's a guy. Really. I mean…how the _hell_ does she hide _those_ and make them look like pecs? She's like a brother, for kami's sake. And Kodachi? No. That's just _wrong_. Kodachi's got a snowflake's chance in hell of _ever_ marrying me. And I'm not going to marry whoever else Oyaji made a deal with. Last of all, what the hell am I sitting on?' 

Ranma stood up and looked under him. 'That's odd. I could have sworn that I was sitting on something. There was something on my butt.' He shrugged. 'Oh well, whatever it was, it's gone now. It's getting late. I think I'll head for bed.' He flipped off the roof and landed neatly on the cobblestones in front of the Tendo home. As he walked in, he heard the news on the television. A screen with the headlines boldly stated, "Japanese Government Uses Sentinels to Eliminate Mutants". "Stupid government. Can't they see that they're humans like us?" He shook his head sadly as he dragged himself back to his room. 

He entered his room just as he made a silent wish. "I wish I could make a difference. I wish I had the power to _change_ things. It's just not fair. It's just not right. They ain't got a choice whether they're mutants or not." He gazed out the window. "It's a beautiful night…" Ranma snorts. "What would Oyaji say if he heard _that_? Be a man?" He gave a short, quick laugh. "I'm already more of a man than he is. Not like it would be much help, with this curse and all." As he said so, he saw a twinkle and a few flashes in the distance and opened the window to get a better look at it. 'What was that? It looked kinda cool. Then again, all stars are.' He left the window open, letting the cool night air wash over his body, as he trudged back to his futon.

The light came from Juuban. Specifically, it originated in Juuban Park, where the Sailor Senshi were fighting…a tiny, fidgeting, _nasty_-looking thing that was _very _powerful…and apparently also was a youma. 'Damn that wail.' Ten'ou Haruka gritted her teeth as she covered her ears. Likewise, the other Senshi, save one, were huddled in a corner with their hands covering their ears. Poor, misguided Usagi, on the other hand, had a different line of thought. First, she covered her ears as she remembered Ami saying before a Senshi meeting, "Remember that looks can be deceiving. A small, nice looking thing can turn out to be _very_ powerful." Next, she remembered that Rei would tease her about it. Finally, the poor thing broke down. 'I CAN'T TAKE IT! IT JUST ISN'T FAIR!' Usagi, currently in her Sailor Moon form, began to wail. It was an impromptu wailing contest between the two…crybabies. Glass around the area started to crack. Usagi, having over a decade more experience than the squirt did, edged _slightly_ over the youma. She did, of course, have training every time Rei teased her…which was almost every Senshi meeting, actually. This was no small feat; the little thing was churning out _gallons_ of tears, totally outshining the Tendo Patriarch Waterworks™ by a couple hundred gallons…a second. Its voice easily was thrice as loud and annoying as the Tendo Demon Head™ was scary. Usagi beat _that_. The sailors were, of course, as impressed as they were deluged by the flood of tears. The youma, who had a lifetime membership to the 'Sore Losers Club', was attempting to attack Usagi. Its only coherent thought was, 'Damn that girl. Does she know the dreaded Klutz-Fu? AND the Baby-Fu? This is insane! This is impossible! THIS IS LUDICROUS!' The only attack that got through Usagi's 'defenses' was a small pin-size missile that hit Usagi dead on and threw her Ginzushou into the night sky. The second the youma stopped wailing, however, the Sailors recovered. As it got off that last missile, it realized something. It turned around and saw that there were eight _very_ pissed Senshi standing behind him. Normally, things are afraid of Pluto, the Mistress of Time. She can make things…well…not exist anymore. Sailor Saturn, however, was _much_ younger than the others. She didn't have the same level of control as the others did, but what she lacked, she found in her trusty, long-bladed Silence Glaive. The glaive positively gleamed in the moonless night. The other sailors edged away as they saw an evil grin grow on Saturn's face. The youma gulped. 'OH, OH, OH, OH CRAPPPPPPPP! PISSED OFF SATURN IS _NOT _GOOD!' And yes, Beryl did remember to _personally_ brief _this _youma. 

--We now censor this scene of Extraneous, Gruesome, and Gratuitous Violence™. Tune in next time for the _un_censored version!—

Somewhere out in some place, Fate, Havoc, Chaos, and Destiny were having a ball. With themselves. It was possible. Don't ask, because you probably don't want to know. Normally, they stayed apart. They stayed separate and did their own little thing. They did, however, have one small pet project with the four of them. Code-named Ranma Saotome, it was the most devious and fun plan they devised yet. Ranma Saotome was their avatar, a nexus of…well…_everything_. 

His _unique_ quality made him a magnet of everything chaotic. The Ginzushou was one of them. It flew in the opposite direction of Nerima. Ranma's nature made the Ginzushou slow down, stop, and fly in the other direction. This, of course, broke the laws of physics, and ticked off the 'Great Thinker' of the Physics Police. 

-Update for Wednesday, November 20, 2002 Ends here.

-Update for Friday, November 22, 2002 Begins.

The Ginzushou flew towards Ranma and passed through buildings and anything its path crossed in the exact way that little broaches were _not _to. They were _not_ supposed to be able to fly, change their course in midair, or any of that. What they _were_ supposed to do, like the nice semi-sentient magical objects they were, is obey whatever appropriate user it was given to. This was a class 3, limited magical artifact, and it was _damn_ good at doing things. It could, for example, blow up the world with a blast of magical energy. With a mere fraction of its power. However, as its name implies, it was limited in its functionality. One couldn't go around blowing up galaxies, you know. It wouldn't be good for that poor little galaxy. What it _could_ do, however, was open dimensional gates. 

Opening dimensional gates always was good and fun. It always opened up new things for The Ginzushou to play with. Too bad its victims weren't always aware and willing. The Ginzushou flashed its equivalent of a shrug. Hey, when you're a faceted gem, you're not about to shrug, now are you? 

            The Ginzushou flew straight through the dead center of the window right at Ranma…only to miss him by mere millimeters as he rolled to the right. It tried hopping to the left…only to have Ranma roll right. After a long, torturous few hours of doing this, the broach was visibly…exhausted. It was…well…sweating. Although the Crystal was only semi-sentient, it was aware enough to think this, "I'm a broach. I _know_ I'm a broach. I know that I'm not really alive. I know that I am a Crystal. Crystals don't have sweat glands. Crystals don't have water. Crystals aren't supposed to be able to sweat. How the _hell_ am I sweating?"

            Dawn arrived, and sunlight broke out and bathed Ranma in his sleep. Ranma groggily scrunched his eyes and rubbed them as he got up. Getting up isn't all that its reputed to be. There was nothing to look forward to in his life. Just another day where he would get pounded by Ryouga, his digestive system mutated by Akane's cooking, his ears talked off by Kuno, his pocket raided by Nabiki, and whatever else he would have in his life. All in all, a boring, usual day that was as normal as they come. Remember, normality is always _relative_. 

            Just to be Ranma's luck, the Ginzushou decided to try once more as he woke up. Lo and behold, when Ranma was waking up, the Ginzushou rocketed at his chest and imbedded itself there.

            Ranma opened his eyes just in time to see some white, sparkly, glowing thing coming at him…and that he couldn't stop it.

- Update for Friday, November 22, 2002 Ends here. 

- Update for Saturday, November 23, 2002 begins

            The Ginzushou was a tool of destiny. Its sentience was there so that it could plot ways to achieve its own ends. Unfortunately, they were not always in concordance with the wishes of the Moon Kingdom. Its primary goal was to provide the user with power if it needed to accomplish a task, assuming it was within certain bounds, of course. Ironically, it never mentioned that it supplied some of the power to Beryl for her to open the dimensional gates from the Negaverse to Juuban. The youma were pathetically weak and stupid for a reason, you know. Ginzushou thought that they were fools, the whole lot of them. They couldn't do anything proper and right. Their speeches? Ginzushou was to blame for the costume, granted, but those were the specs that Serenity gave it. 

            The Ginzushou impacted his chest with a meaty thud. It drove itself halfway into Ranma's sternum, right below his pectorals. The chain embedded itself in a ring around the broach, leaving an odd circular mark around it. The stone flattened itself out, making it less conspicuous than normal; he looked like a normal human with two crescent moons on his chest and a small, glittering, flattened jewel on his breastbone. The chain was just an intricate mark on his skin. Nothing else was left resembling the Ginzushou of old. Ranma Saotome was its new user, and he was a force of Chaos, Destiny, and Fate. 

            "Huh? What's this?" Ranma fingered the Crystal. It was small and otherwise unnoticeable, but it was cool nonetheless. "Gotta hide this before Akane sees this or Nabiki tries to pawn it." Just then, Nabiki strode into his room. 

"Saotome. Breakfast."  

"Huh?" 

"Kasumi-oneechan's making me come wake you up. I've gotta go wake up the 'princess'." She rolled her eyes as she walked off.

'Huh…apparently she can't see the jewel. Her eyes didn't linger on me any longer than usual. Ranma yawned as he sauntered down the stairs. "'Gmorning, Kasumi-san." Soun and Genma already were at the table, and Akane tailed Nabiki as she descended.

The trio of Furinkan students walked their way to school when they heard familiar sounds. Shampoo came riding down the road on her bicycle four speeds faster than a bicycle should go. Ukyou came running straight at Ranma.

"Airen!" "Ranchan!"

They did their respective glomps on opposite arms. They then saw each other. 

"Airen _mine_!" "Ranchan's _mine_!"

Akane, as usual, saw red. She whipped out her patented 'Big, Nasty, Mallet-shaped Blunt Heavy Object™' and whapped Ranma with it. 

Ranma's trajectory was tragically cut short when he slammed into a Youma that was just exiting a dimensional doorway from the Negaverse. 

The effects of the fateful intersection were different on both sides. The youma flew back a couple hundred feet with a massive Ranma-shaped dent in its armor. Ranma had a few broken ribs. He staggered for a bit. 

"Damn, what the hell did I hit? Since when do I break my ribs?"

The youma was wondering the same thing. It screeched when it remembered that its appearances were now marred.

Ranma looked up at the noise.

The youma saw that the human male in front of her was looking at her with a dangerous glint in her eyes. It shrugged. Well, it tried to do so to the best of its ability. The human was abnormally strong, but the fun part of being a youma was to suck out life energy. It would kill the victim in the process. Such a waste, but it was fun, anyways. There were so _many_ that one wouldn't matter.

Ranma saw that it was _ugly_ and that he was hurt. In short, he saw red. Ranma started to glow.

The youma blinked. Normal humans don't glow.

Ranma powered up his chi before he would throw a Moko Takabashia.

The youma blinked again. Normal humans don't make glowing-ball-type-things.

Ranma fired his energy blast while calling out its name. 

The youma found meeting a Moko Takabashia rather painful. It left a note to itself to not take dangerously glowing humans lightly. Only its metal armor was destroyed, though.

By the time it happened, the Sailor Senshi arrived on the scene. Usagi was frantic over the loss of the Ginzushou. The eight woman team (Pluto went back to the Time Gates) fired off their attacks. The youma was dusted. 

Ranma, quite frankly, was disappointed. He had to be saved by a group of short-skirted Sailor-Fuku-dressed women. 'Must…not…think…of…scantily-clad…women.' The mere thought of that would send Ryouga into a nosebleed that only a raging flood might have a chance of rivaling.

The Ginzushou was disappointed in its new host. It thought that Ranma would have been more effective than that. It shrugged to the best of its abilities before it flashed in glee. What most people didn't know was that the Crystal was schizophrenic. Well, not really. It had multiple personalities that it would work with. It had fights with itself regularly. However, it was the most dependable way it could do things; by arguing, it often came up with the best ideas. And Serenity thought that she was brilliant when she made the Ginzushou. It worked more through trial and error than sheer brilliance. A rather stupid way to do it, but effective, nonetheless.

Arby had his unique and remarkable impact on the Ginzushou. It actually _liked_ him. 

''ow can w' make 'im betta? Betta, Stronga, Fasta, whaddever.'

'Speak properly…wait…look at who I'm talking to…never mind.'

'D' ya 'ave any 'Eavy, Blunt Objects lyin' 'round 'ere somewhere?'

'Heavy, Blunt Objects? What for?'

''Cause…they just go 'and in 'and. Ya know, 'Eavy, Blunt Objects and Power. Serenity 'ad 'er…whajmacallit…Moon Scepter! That's it! It's 'eavy and blunt.'

'Not really…but you forget. Ranma has Akane.'

'Oh…roight. Dem 'Eavy, Blunt Objects won't woik.'

A third voice chimed in. 'Go hunt yourself and bash yourself with Blunt, Heavy Objects.'

'But don'ts ya mean 'Eavy, Blunt Object?'

'No, I mean Blunt and Heavy, in _that order_. And yes, I did put an 's' at the end of Blunt and Heavy. As in more than one.'

'But tha'll _'urt_!'

The third voice shrugged. 'Too bad. It sucks to be you, don't it?'

Okay, maybe Arby didn't have that much of an effect…I forget…what did?

Sailor Mercury, with her Mercury Computer, noticed that Ranma's chest had more magical energy than it should have had. In addition, it looked suspiciously like…Moon Kingdom energy. Was it…the Ginzushou? 'Nah, couldn't be. It's a broach. His chest has a…jewel…hrmm…what's the relation?'

The Ginzushou made a quick decision. It powered up…and opened a dimensional portal that Ranma fell through. 

Ranma only had time for a blink and a short yell before he fell through.

Akane, Ukyou, and Shampoo only had time to yell, "Ranma!" "Ranchan!" "Airen!"

Ryouga, Kuno, and the rest of the male half of the Nerima Wrecking Crew were laughing maniacally at the demise of their most hated enemy.

The Sailor Senshi had time to yell a short speech whose length rivaled the length of the United States Constitution…multiplied five hundred times over.

The…of that universe? You just _don't_ want to know. Just stop _right_ there, and no one gets hurt. Really.

- Update for Saturday, November 23, 2002 Ends here.

- Update for Sunday, November 24, 2002 Begins.

            The Ginzushou normally is not a nice thing to talk to. It is cold, calculating, and efficient…with a side order of utter rambunctiousness and a generous helping of foolishness. It is a devious little gem. _All_ gems are devious…plotting against us with their shiny wiles…trying to take over the Earth's population. Devious little things, I'd say.

'My new host is going to be a lot of fun. Too bad he'd be too oblivious to…notice…hrmm…maybe a boost in intelligence might be required.' The broach flashed in glee. 'And I can make it _painful_ and _long_ and _very_ hard to endure. Yes…yes…_yes…yes…YES!!! _MUWHAHWAHAHAH! His brain will quiver with the massive torture of learning. Such a pitiful thing to do…if I cared for Ranma Saotome, anyways.' Defying all logic, the Ginzushou crooned to itself. 'Yes…this will be long and torturous and, most importantly, _painful!!!_. He will fear my power.'

Serenity knew that she instilled the broach with Silver Millennium energy and a strict command to make its user as powerful as possible. Unfortunately, she forgot to mention (or did she?) to the Crystal _how_ it was to make its user powerful. The Crystal cackled with evil glee.

Too bad the Ginzushou forgot that Ranma Saotome was generally oblivious to these kinds of things.

Ranma fell through the portal…and arrived in a parallel universe.

Parallel universes are notorious in science fiction as being common ways to get characters to do weird and utterly _unspeakable_ things. It was frowned upon by the Laws of Physics. How would one define 'unspeakable'? Let's just say that an _intelligent_, _tactful_ Ranma might be a possibility. 

The Crystal was to make Ranma intelligent and tactful. Such a _horror_ should _never_ be mentioned…on pain of…_painful_…_things_…_dictated…by…_THE LAWS OF PHYSICS AND THE FUNDAMENTAL LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE!! …right?

Hey…corrupting things also is fun…let's do _both_!

Ranma fell through another dimensional portal…that would do both. 

You know, in the first world, Ranma would have learned nice and easy. Just a little by little. In _this_ world…wait…no, hold up. _Nice _and _easy_? Okay…_that's_ breaking the Laws of Physics too. No Crystal can be nice. Ever. Well…unless its doing some devious plotting. But gems have _aversions_ to being nice. Its like…Ranma and cats. They just don't…work. 

You don't believe me? Go look in the Fundamental Laws of the Universe. They're on Addendum 123097435093846532123-08739876, Section 2-123812970329463212, Subsection 203128-30123, Paragraph 12321, subparagraph 89-095. Go look for yourself. 

They're also cross-referenced in the Laws of Physics. Don't try looking for them. Even _WE _don't know where that is.

As I summed up before, crystals are not nice. Any Crystal that is usually is cursed for life, or already has a magical curse on it that makes it nice. Think of them as Mazoku that have been present since the beginning of the universe. Nasty things, actually. 

Crystals often have power to spare. Much power. VERY much power. This one had more than most. So, Ranma was tossed through dimensions like a ping-pong ball. Or else you could call it a constant state of free fall. The Ginzushou only took 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000235230758340973 seconds to analyze a dimensions. The other .999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999976476924139067 seconds were left for pure, unadulterated torture. We already told you that Crystals are mean, cruel, evil, and devious, remember? And that the Ginzushou is a broach made for carrying a Crystal? 

The Crystal's line of thought was something like this. Oh, we forgot to mention something. Crystals also have OCD towards order and disorder. In that order. 

            'Dimension 001 – Plain'

            'Dimension 002 – Decent, but not painful'

            'Dimension 003 – Okay, but I've seen better'

            'Dimension 004 – Ooh…this sounds _painful_…gotta remember this one.

            'Dimension 005 –…' The Crystal shuddered. That was unnecessarily gruesome. There _are_ limits, you know. 

            'Dimension 006 – He daunt git enuff smat.'

            The Crystal went through that train of thought – before it got derailed. In the end, it settled on one…a full week (relative time) later.

- Update for Sunday, November 24, 2002 Ends Here.

- Update for Monday, November 25, 2002 Begins.

Ranma fell out of his last portal. The thump on a ground woke him up. Hitting the ground from a fall of three hundred feet _does_ tend to do that, you know. Well…that along with numerous broken bones for a normal human, anyways. He looked around for a second and shrugged. 

'Okay, I'm home…so what?'

He fell into Nerima. There was one _slight_ difference, though. Not as bad as Toltiir's six-inch-moving-pallet-type-MASSIVE-change, but subtle nonetheless.

What is it, you ask? You'll find out soon…or should we say, 'It's a secret!'? We'll just smirk and take the compliments now, before the massive facefaults ensue. Oh, and before you ask, the turf you're standing on is _mine_. You facefault on it, you pay me. _Much money. Almost as devious as Nabiki, aren't we?_

"Speak of the Devil. It's Nabiki." Yes, let's speak of the Devil, shall we? Or should we say, let's speak of Crystals? That would be much more _shiny and __fun._

"Saotome. Always the dumb jock you are."

"Whaddya mean by that?"

"Exactly what I say."

Ranma was guarded, cautious. Experiences with Nabiki were unpleasant, especially for his wallet. "So whatr ya gonna do 'bout it?"

"Nothing. Except bet that you couldn't learn enough to rival someone like me, Nabiki Tendo, in a year."

"Oh yeah? _Sure. What__ever you say."_

"Do we have a deal, Saotome?"

"Why should I?"

"Are you too _scared to do so? Not __man enough?"_

"I _am! Fine, I'll take you on that bet." _

"Let's say…for 50,000 yen." Nabiki smirked. 'This is going to be easy money. A fool and his wallet are easy to part.'

"A year from today?" 'Nabiki won't ever know what hit her…or her wallet.' "Gimme a slip. I ain't gonna forget _this bet."_

"Cautious, Saotome? How…unnatural of you."

"I learn my lessons."

By the time this conversation was over, it was noon. 

He decided to head back to the Tendo Dojo, deep in thought. His body was on autopilot. 

'Stupid, stupid, STUPID! Why did I have to take Nabiki up on that bet?' Ranma shrugged. 'I can't do anything about it anymore…except…_learn to beat __Nabiki…and the expression on her face'll be __hilarious! Oh crap…how do I go about beating __NABIKI????' _

As he returned to the Tendo residence, he saw Kasumi hanging the wash. When he saw Kasumi, he had an idea.

"Kasumi-san…" 

"Yes, Ranma-kun?"

"Can ya make me an extra bento in the mornings from now on? I've gotta do some stuff after school."

"Okay, Ranma-kun."

"Thanks, Kasumi-san." 

"One more thing, Kasumi-san."

"Yes?"

"What day is it today?"

"Today is Monday."

"What's the date?"

"November 25th, 2002. Why do you ask, Ranma-kun?"

"Nah, nothing much. Just wondering. Thanks, Kasumi-san."

The rest of the day for Ranma went the normal way it always did. Well, normal enough for Ranma and Nerimans, anyways. There does tend to be some discrepancies, but…normal is relative. Let's just leave it at that.

The next day…

- Update for Monday, November 25, 2002 Ends Here.

- Update for Wednesday, November 27, 2002 Begins

The next day for Ranma was no different than any other. Well, except for one minor change. 

Ranma woke up as he usually would. His useless panda-for-a-father tried to wake him up. Lets just emphasize one word in that sentence. _Tried_ to wake him up. Yep. Damned hyperpowered martial artists with souped-up danger senses. Kind of hard to wake people up when you're currently orbiting the Earth in Low Earth Orbit, eh?

To normal people, dodging with the grace and ability of a tenth dan in _any_ martial art is not normal. Much less so in one's sleep. However, one _should_ remember that this is Nerima. These things are _normal_ in Nerima. 

What the authors sigh over is this: Normality is relative.

Fortunately, we at the Office get to make _one_ change today. EpicGuy grins. Dr. Aki begins plotting devious plans of mischief and mayhem. 

Life at Nerima just got weirder. Not noticeably, though.

The morning routine was the same: fall asleep in class, get drained by Ms. Hinako, and the usual stuff that happened. 

Even the lunch and afternoon school routine was the same. 

The CHANGE, however, happened right _after_ school. At the sound of the afternoon bell, Ranma poked open the windows, flipped out, and literally disappeared. The Umi-Sen-Ken was good like that. It allowed its user to virtually disappear. 

As usual, the Fiancee brigade flipped out when they saw this happening. They thought he was on his way to consorting with the other. In essence, mayhem. Not to the scale to which Dr. Aki was planning on, but Mayhem nonetheless. 

Yes. Mayhem with a capital 'M'. 

Ranma dashed off, unseen to all but a handful of people. He praised himself for such obvious foresight. 'Good thing I brought my cap. Noone's going to see my pigtail. I also have…where are they?' He fumbled through his pockets, finally stumbling upon some fake, but passable looking battered and well-used reading glasses. 

He dashed into a side alley, put on the getup, and sauntered out to the library. Not an eye blinked as they saw another nerdy-looking guy walk into the library. Enough happened in Nerima that these visits were expected. We can't have the population of Neriman Nerds suddenly become dolts in the meantime, now can we?

Ranma was at a loss when he arrived at the library. It was his first time there, of course, and he didn't know where to start. 'Huh…what do I do now? I'm in a library…that means…'

'BOOKS! LOTS AND LOTS OF BOOKS!' 

'Huh? WHO THE HELL'S THAT?'

'Tsk, tsk, Ranma, watch your language.'

'Who the Hell are you?'

'Just call me your Nerdy side, awakened.'

'My WHAT side?'

'Your Nerdy side. You know, Nerd, Geek, REALLY intelligent person? Not stupid? Ring a bell anywhere?'

'Hrmm…okay…I have a _girl_ side…but I don't have a NERD side.'

'Don't be too sure about that. I'm here, aren't I?'

'Can you get out of my head?'

'Nope. No can do. Looks like we're stuck for a bit.'

Ranma shrugged. He'd had worse. 'Fine. Don't annoy me. What the hell am I gonna call you?'

The voice in his head brightened quite a bit. 'Your better half?'

'Yeah, right, Nerdboy. In your dreams…hey…wait…Nerdboy. You're stuck with this.' 

'My, you're being unnaturally forceful today, aren't you?'

'Yeah…what? What'd you just say?'

'Don't ask. You don't want to know.'

'Fine. I'm at the library…'

'Well, _duh_. It _does_ say Nerima Public Library on the front door, you know. There's also that _big_, honking sign on the lawn.'

'Shut up. What do I do now?'

- Update for Wednesday, November 27, 2002 Ends Here.

- Update for Thursday, November 28, 2002 Begins.

Ranma found a chair at in isolated table soon after he entered the library.

'So what should I do here in the library?'

'Umm…maybe…read?' quipped Nerdboy.

'Shut UP.'

'But you asked me for help.'

'I just…forget it. You aren't going to help me.'

'Actually, I will. I'm going to ask a few questions.'

'Yeah?'

'What do you want to do at the library?'

'Become smarter than Nabiki.'

'What is smart?'

'Whaddya mean?'

'There are people who are street smart, which isn't you, and there are people who are book smart, which _also_ isn't you.'

'So? How the hell does this help me?'

'It doesn't…unless you know what you're looking for.'

'What is Nabiki?'

'She's…Nabiki, duh.'

'I didn't mean…oh wait…that _was_ my mistake. Oops.'

'Gotcha! Ranma Saotome doesn't.…'

'Cut out that "Ranma Saotome doesn't lose" crap. You do lose. Just when the battle isn't important.'

'But…'

'No buts. We didn't come here to argue over _you_. We came to talk about getting smarter to beat Nabiki.'

'Fine. So how the hell am I gonna beat Nabiki?'

'Simple. Answer this…'

'Why d'ya always have to ask questions?'

'Quiet, child, and listen,' Ranma grumbled. 'To accomplish your goal, you must understand the problem. If you do not understand the problem, you cannot achieve your goal, except by dumb luck…which you don't happen to have enough of.'

'Hey, are you calling me stupid?'

'No, I'm just saying you don't have enough dumb luck.'

'Oh.'

'On to other things…What kind of smart is Nabiki? Street smart or book smart?'

Ranma thought for a moment.

'Hello? Anyone home??'

'Yeah, yeah, I'm thinking…'

The voice snorted. 'Don't hurt yourself.'

'Shut up. I don't know.'

'Fine. Let's try this another way. What kind of smart do you have to become?'

'Huh?'

'What was the wager?'

'Huh? What's a wager?'

The voice was getting frustrated. Well…as frustrated as a bodyless voice could look. It shrugged to the best of its ability, and sighed. 'A wager is a bet.'

'Ohh…why didn't you say that before?'

The voice facefaulted. 'Just answer the question.'

'The bet was…hrmm…I don't remember.'

'Think, Ranma, think. Winning or losing this bet depends on what the terms of the bet are.'

'It was…oh yeah! I have to be smart enough to rival Nabiki in a year…whatever _that _means.'

'Ohh boy. Oh boy. This is _not_ going to be pretty.'

'Huh?'

'This isn't good.'

'Oh. Why not?'

'You have to be good enough to rival Nabiki. That means that you have to be as good as Nabiki.'

'I'm _better_ than her.'

'Not in the terms of _this_ bet. You have to beat her _mentally_.'

'Crap. Stupid bet.'

'Yep. _Very_ stupid bet. You really should watch what you say, you know. You might get hurt or…wait…who am I talking to again?'

'Yep.'

'Let me think about this for a sec…'

Ranma sat and waited. Well…he sat and meditated, but that's close enough. 

'Got it.'

'So what's the plan?' queried Ranma. This talking to yourself type thing was freaking him out a bit. 

'Wait one moment and you will find out.'

'Eh?'

'Wait a sec.'

'Oh. Got it.'

'Okay…what does Nabiki do best?'

'Nabiki blackmails people and stuff…well…you know, the things she does to make money.'

'Good, Ranma. Very good. Now, what this bet says is that you will have to beat Nabiki at her own game.'

'Huh?'

'You have to be able to run a business and blackmail as good as Nabiki does.'

'Oh. Wait…_damn_, that's gonna be damn near _impossible_!'

The voice smirked. 'Not with me around.'

'Oh? You can do better?'

'Yes. First things first. We've gotta make a _plan_.' 

- Update for Thursday, November 28, 2002 Ends Here.

- Update for Friday, November 29, 2002 Begins.

Ranma straightened up in his seat. 'Okay, so what is it?'

'We've got to list your problems, and see what we can fix. I'll take down the problems. You have to remember them.'

'First, you've got the classic Saotome Foot-In-Mouth-of-Doom.'

'Cool! Foot-In-Mouth-of-Doom, eh? Sounds kinda cool.'

The voice cleared its throat. Somehow. Kind of hard to do so without a throat, but it did so anyways. 'Ahem. _Not_ when it's _your_ doom it causes.'

'Oh. Okay, so how do we fix that?'

'Simple. Talk less. And ignore comments to your manhood or honor. That's how Genma manipulates you.'

'That's how he manip…manipu…'

'That's another problem. You have a vocabulary the smaller than the size of a pinhead. Literally.'

'Hey!'

'Hey, I can't help it if what I'm saying is _true_.'

Ranma sulked. He didn't like being called names or insulted. 'Fine. What can I do about that, then?'

The voice grinned evilly. Wait, no. The voice grinned Evilly. 

You see, in this realm, there is a difference between evil and Evil. Apart from the obvious. Evil is spelled with a capital 'E'. 'evil' is, well, you know, evil. It isn't anything special. It just is. 'evil' is like…say…burying your little sister in a _huge_ mound of snow. 

'Evil', on the other hand, is taking that huge mound of snow, compacting it, and rolling her down a mountainside. 

- Update for Friday, November 29, 2002 Ends Here.

- Update for Sunday, December 01, 2002 Begins

'You've gotta read,' said the voice wearily. Ranma wasn't getting anything done. He was falling asleep, and at this rate, nothing would be accomplished. The Voice was irked. He had to be…he shuddered at the thought…nice. Nice is bad. Nice is definitely, definitely, _definitely_ _not_ good. 

'Fine,' the voice conceded. Ranma perked up. 

'Huh? What now? I don wanna read 'ny more books. No more dictionaries.'

'You're going to. These are going to be interesting.' There were times when the voice wished that it had a corporeal body. Then, it could at least torture Ranma…wait…no, its VERY good that it doesn't have a corporeal body. It couldn't get hurt…could it?

'Whaddya mean?'

'I know you don't like romance…'

'Yeech…something better.'

'What about…action? Adventure?'

'Can there be a good book?'

'Yep. Okay, you're a martial artist…let's find something action packed, but relatively simple. Go over to the translated books side. We're going to be reading some fiction.'

'Fic…fict…fiction? What's that?'

'It means a story that isn't real, dimwit.' Nerdboy snorted.

'Hey!'

'Just get over there before I _make_ you do it.'

'Ain't gonna be…'

'Spare me. Please. Just do it.'

'Fine.' Ranma sulked as he trudged over to the fiction section.

'Let's try…hrmm…what _should_ we try? What's to your level? I've got it. Ranma. Which book looks the most appealing?'

'Looks the most _what_?'

'Appealing…eh…the most interesting.'

'Oh…gimme a sec. I'm gonna go with…' Ranma looked over the shelf, and at each book title. 'Warrior of Hope…The Golden Dragon…The Crystal Cave…On…Basilisk Station? Hrmm…what's this? The cover looks kinda cool.'

'That's sci-fi, but if it suits your tastes…try it out.' The Voice, apparently against its nature, grinned good-naturedly. 'It's one of my favorites.' It seemed that there was a spark of…something nice, after all. 

Ranma sighed. He hoped there would be more to this than reading. 'Fine.'

He sat down by the shelf, flipped somewhere in the book, and began to read aloud. 

"Sergeant Tadeuz O'Brian stepped through the yawning hatch into a thousand meters of air as the pinnace flashed on past him. He plummeted downward, the rest of his squad close behind him, and popped his grav canopy. It wasn't a regular counter-grav unit—there wasn't room for that. Instead, it generated a negative-gee force at the far end of its attachment harness, and he grunted involuntarily as an enraged mule kicked with vicious power. But O'Brian was used to that. He didn't even blink. Instead, he hit his armor thrusters and turned in midair, the movement almost instinctive after endless hours of armor drill, to align his sensors and built-in electronic binoculars on the smashed NPA skimmer. Even a scout suit's systems weren't good enough to get a reading through the shattered hull, but the sergeant's face tightened as the bodies sprawled all about it registered." 

'Hey, yo. This is kinda cool. But what's gee? Why are there bodies? What's…'

'First, that's Chapter 28. Go back to the beginning. Read the beginning, and you'll understand. You'll like it. It might be a little boring, but it gets better as it goes on. Trust me.'

And so began Ranma's first excursion into the literary world. It opened his eyes to the possibilities of other worlds and adventures other than his own. 

As his time wound to a close, Ranma was forced to leave the library; they were closing in just a few minutes. 

- Update for Sunday, December 01, 2002 Ends Here.

- Update for Tuesday, December 03, 2002 Begins

Ranma invoked the Umi-Sen-Ken once he left the library. He had a rep to protect, after all, you know. We can't have our resident Jocks and Martial Artists become Geeks overnight, now can we? There'd be people wondering if there's a virus or some new Martial Arts Book Reading thingie going around. Then again, if it _was_ Martial Arts Book Reading, it wouldn't be surprising that Ranma would be doing it. Think about it. This is _Ranma_. He's done the _Neko-Ken_. What's a little Martial Arts Book Reading?

He dashed across the rooftops as quickly as possible. As odd as it sounds, he was ready to give the book another chance. This…sci-fi intrigued him. 

'Don't tell anyone that I'm here, or that you're reading this,' said Nerdboy.

'Why not?'

'Because we can't have Nabiki knowing what you're doing. Do this someplace quiet and hidden.' 

Ranma sulked as he roofhopped. This hidden-Voice-type-thingie isn't fun when you've got no one to beat up. 

'I'd say that you should go to the spot under the Bridge. Good place to read, if a little dark.' Noncorporeal Voices are _so_ annoying when they're right.

'Yeah, yeah, yeah, shaddup…I'm not an idiot, ya know.'

'Ranma, what did I say to you about idiots?'

Our pigtailed friend sighed. 'Yeah, yeah, there aren't any idiots. There are only people who know and people who don't know.'

'Good. Now let's go.'

He landed on the sidewalk after a quick and easy triple flip from a third story building. The afternoon sun was growing dim, but it was still bright enough to read in. After finding a cozy spot by the base of a streetlight, he continued reading. As always, no one noticed him. Who would? To the outside world, he was nothing more than another nerd reading a book. There was nothing intriguing in that. 

Due to the lack of a noticeable amount of reading in previous years, the pigtailed martial-artist-turned-something read slowly. He only got past the next five pages in the hour it took for the sky to grow too dark to permit reading. Sighing in frustration, he dashed down the road to return to the Tendo Dojo.

As he expected, Akane was slightly ticked that he was returning late. Well, slightly ticked on the Akane scale. Which, in this case, meant that she was only glowing a light blue and wielding a giant mallet that read "1 Ton". Not that bad at all, considering. 

"Where…were…you?" growled Akane through gritted teeth.

"Around." He braced himself for the impending mallet strike that came only seconds later.

"Ranma no BAKA!"

Ranma yawned. Life was getting boring. Nothing new was happening.

'Better get back to reading.'

'Good. You're learning.'

His eye twitched. 'Just be glad that you don't have a body.'

- Update for Tuesday, December 03, 2002 Ends Here.

- Update for Sunday, December 08, 2002 Begins

Ranma read a bit further. He got to the point right past the prologue and into chapter 1. Everything was fine until… "CAT!!" Our pigtailed, aurilophilic (yeah, right) dropped the book suddenly in shock.

'Crap. I knew I forgot a little something.' Nerdboy cursed.

'YO! This isn't exactly a _little_ something! And wow…you curse pretty good for a Nerd.'

'Okay, okay, okay, cool your horses. And shut up. Just because I'm a nerd doesn't mean that I can't swear. Yeah, you're wild, but that doesn't mean that you can't cool down.'

'Whaddya mean, 'I'm wild?'

'Your name?'

'What about my name?'

'It means Wild Horse, or have you forgotten, dipwit?'

'Just be glad you don't have a body. Now shaddup.'

Nerdboy was getting frustrated. Ranma was _much _leaving alone than teaching. No wonder Furinkan didn't teach him much. It was just too hard to. 

'Okay, Ranma, let's just go home. You aren't going to read much farther today, anyways.'

The pigtailed martial artist sighed. Sometimes, life just sucked. Being stuck with an annoying voice in your head is one problem. Having an annoying voice of a _nerd_ in _his_ body was…much worse. A fate almost worse than Akane's cooking. Then again…Akane's cooking was close to hell. He wouldn't wish it on almost anyone…but possibly Happosai – or even Ryouga. Kuno wouldn't be smart enough to notice that it was killing him. And Akane wasn't smart enough to know that her cooking sucked.

"WHAT did you just say?"

"Oops…did I say that out loud?"

If he had a hand and a head, Nerdboy would slap his head with his hand. He had to settle for, 'IDIOT!!'

The almost-doomed pigtailed boy jumped to the roof and lay there, away from the wrath of Akane. He listened intently for the tell-tale signs of Akane's ladder, but heard none. In the peace of the moment, he let out a sigh of relief.

"Finally, a little peace and quiet. Maybe not from Nerdboy, but close enough."

'I'm still here, you know. I can still hear you.'

'Yeah, we know. Just…turn off your ears for a sec. I want to relax, take a break.'

'Fine. Go for it. You've earned it. You've actually done what I thought you'd do.'

He snorted. 'It's not like I need your say to go relax.'

Ranma could almost _feel_ an Evil grin. 'You would, since I can make hell, and you can't stop me.'

'Damn.'

After a short while, Ranma was just lying on his back on the roof, gazing at the night sky.

"It's beautiful," he whispered. 

'Hey Ranma.'

'What?'

'Do you like music?'

'Some.'

'Try this. Hop down, and find Kasumi.' Ranma did so. 'Skulk around _without_ Akane seeing you. It tends to get annoying if she bugs you, doesn't it?'

'Damn straight.'

After peeking around, he ended up outside Kasumi's door. Akane was not in sight. He knocked softly, and heard Kasumi's soft reply. 

"Yes, Ranma-kun?" 

"Err…umm…"

Still grasping for straws, 'Hey Nerdboy. What do you want me to ask her?' 

'Ask her for something called Classical Music?'

'Clas…class…classical? What's that?'

'You'll see. It's nice.' _And easy for me to use to brainwash you_, the voice silently added.

- Update for Sunday, December 08, 2002 Ends here.

- Update for Monday, December 09, 2002 Begins

            "Kasumi, do you have…umm…"

"Don't be afraid, Ranma-kun. Just ask me." Kasumi's calming voice soothed his nerves.

"Do you have any clas…class…classic…classic music?"

"Classical? Classical music? Why, yes. Would you like to listen to some?"

"Yeah! Umm…Kasumi?"

"Yes?"

"What kind of music is classical music?"

Kasumi considered facefaulting. It was unbecoming of a proper Japanese housewife, granted, but it wasn't too farfetched. 

"Just listen and you'll find out. Here," she handed him her Discman, "try this. Classical anthems, CD 1."

The pig-tailed martial artist grinned. "Cool. Thanks Kasumi!" 

After flipping to the roof again, Ranma lay on the roof, relaxing, quietly listening to the Discman Kasumi lent him. His silhouette was barely visible, even without the use of the Umi-sen-ken. It was getting dark, dark to the point where only the stars would only be faintly visible. He was at peace. The nature of the classical music caressed and soothed his malnourished brain. He was thinking clearly, for once. Well…peace enough, especially with his stomach growling. There were things a man's just _has_ to do. Eating is one of them.

He jumped down, carefully making sure that the Discman would be in pristine condition. He couldn't do anything mean to Kasumi, after all. Even if he did, he'd get the patented 'Look'. At least he wouldn't get extorted by Nabiki…

"Hey, where is Nabiki, anyways?"

'Don't ask. Just go grab something to eat and invoke the Umi-sen-ken.'

'Why?'

'A-ka-ne,' Nerdboy singsonged.  

'Oh. Stupid Question.'

'Yep.'

He found a pack of instant noodles. After boiling them, he slurped them down so quickly that it would put Mr. Saotome to shame. Hey. If you've got it, use it. Kami knows that he was powerful enough to kill a god. With that, a little chi-enhanced speed would be put to good use.

Afterwards, he trudged up the stairs and headed to bed.

A day went by in a similar fashion. And another. Soon enough, a week passed by. And two. Soon enough, a month passed. None was the wiser. Only the Nerima crew was left wondering where Ranma was. No one, not even Nabiki, was even _considering_ looking for him at the library. Saotome was a jock. Geeks and Jocks don't mix.

The time came, after a month, where the typical Nerima crew decided to confront Ranma with it. They gave him a breather after the events of Mount Saffron and the bombed (literally) wedding. Ukyou always had a special way with her more…pyrophilic tendencies.

Too bad that Ranma took great advantage of this breather to become something that he would normally have _not_ become: a closet geek.  

After getting that _small_ little hurdle called Ranma's Nekophobia in his reading (Nerdboy made goodly sure that nothing like that was going to happen again), he began to read with an avid interest. He would spend most of his free time, or what was left aside from training, at least, reading. He even shelled out 500 yen for a good pocket light. No one suspected a thing. Not even Nabiki. 

What they _did_ notice, however, was that Ranma wasn't around as much as he usually was. Nabiki was wondering where her major source of income went. Akane wondered for a moment, then quashed that idea once she thought that Ranma would take a trip to Shampoo's or Ukyou's for some food. He was taking up an _awful_ lot of time, though. What was happening? Kasumi went about her daily life, as usual. She spared a passing thought, but otherwise was cheerful as normal, or so she seemed. Who knew what went on in that brain of hers?

Shampoo thought that Ranma was with Ukyou. Ukyou thought Ranma was with Shampoo. Ryouga was lost, and didn't notice that Ranma wasn't apparently there. Kuno? It's questionable if he can even _think_. Anything beyond that is out of the question.

As things turned out the way they usually do in Nerima, everyone decided to come all at once. These occurrences aren't exactly by random chance, you know. Someone plans them. Really. There's some 'Come-To-Nerima-And-Bash-Ranma'-type Convention that occurs every once in a while. The longer it gets put off, the more rowdy the crowd…and the more pain inflicted on Ranma. Rather painful in either case, if I'd say so myself. 

Actually, if you _really_ wanted to know, here's a juicy tidbit of information. 

_The Crystal was bored. Things were becoming too tame as of late, with Ranma reading in the library and all. Variety is the spice of life. It wanted _lots_ and _lots_ of variety. Then again, there couldn't be _that_ much variety, because there was a limit to what the Crystal would do. Everything that happens _must _be fun in some fashion. Specifically, fun for the Crystal, and not always Ranma. Then again, Ranma had little chance of having fun with the Crystal rearranging the deck here; Crystals were notorious for their…deviously warped sense of humor. _

Ranma was strolling down an intersection.

"RANMA!!!" growled Akane, apparently popping up from nowhere, like her hammer usually did.

"RANCHAN!!!" Ukyou always liked her trademarked phrases.

"AIREN!!!" Shampoo preferred her Chinapenese. It always made her sound 'Too, too sexy', or so she believed – which was all that mattered in her case.

Ranma breathed a sigh of relief. There always was room for him to breathe, since there were only _three _girls, and _four_ exits.

"RANMA-SAMA!!!" Make that _four_ girls covering _four_ exits. Crap.

"Where have you been?" they chorused simultaneously.

"Wait…Ranma _hasn't_ been flirting with the floozy, the bimbo, _or_ Kodachi?" Akane shivered at the thought. It was…well…unthinkable. Ranma's supposed to be a _pervert_, or so she called him…right?

"Ranchan _wasn't_ with Akane?" Ukyou was puzzled. What was happening between the two?

"Airen not with Kitchen Destroyer or Spatula Girl?" Neither Ukyou nor Shampoo thought of Kodachi; if he _had_ gone to her, then neither would have wanted him…much.

"Ranma-Sama not with his pigtailed harlot, the lowborn Akane, the lowly chef, or the stupid Amazon?"

"RANMA SAOTOME, PREPARE TO DIE!!!!" The three Neriman males charged him. 

"Well, well, well, Saotome, out with it. Where have you been?" Everyone, save Ranma, turned to her in shock. That was Nabiki. Nabiki sounding puzzled was not a normal thing. She was supposed to know almost everything about you. Nabiki Tendo was to be relied upon to find out what color boxers you wore the day before, and when you last washed behind your ears.

'Yo, idiot. You're using Umi-sen-ken, remember? She can't find you. And they're too stupid to realize that you're at the library.'

'SWEETNESS! HELLS YEAH!'

Ranma smirked and turned to face them. "I'm not in the mood. Either you get the hell away from me and leave me alone, or I make sure that I do to you what I did to Saffron."

The trio blanched. The four fiancées, due to gossip, paled also. Nabiki cocked her head in puzzlement. 

Ryouga was the worst off of the trio. He was _at_ Mt. Pheonix. He saw what happened to Saffron. Being killed wasn't on his list of things to do. Mousse and Kuno paused, and then continued on with their charge. Ranma couldn't _really_ mean what he just said. He's Ranma. The fickle-hearted pea-brained idiot who could best any of them in a fight. Easily. But to kill them? Besides, he couldn't have gotten _that_ much better in a month, could he?

The pigtailed martial artist grinned when he saw them coming. He stood in a classic position, with both of his hands cupped at his right hip. 

Ryouga prepared to throw a Shi Shi Houkoudan. Mousse readied his most lethal projectiles. Kuno…well…Kuno was as oblivious and stubborn as usual.

Ranma exulted in the feeling of calling out the beginning of this common catch phrase.

"KA-"

Everyone's eyes widened. Ranma was using a new attack? He was a tried-and-true traditionalist!

"ME-" A glowing ball of Ki energy formed between his hands.

Ryouga whispered, "Hey…that phrase sounds _awfully_ familiar. Where did I hear that before?"

"HA-" Ranma wasn't glowing blue anymore. He was glowing white. Mousse gulped and paused in his charge momentarily.

"ME-" Akane, Ukyou, and Shampoo's eyes widened. They were martial artists, but they were teenagers too. They weren't just _any_ teenagers; they were _Japanese_ teenagers. It is a known fact that most Japanese teenagers have a penchant for anime and manga. The Dragon Ball series was among the most popular manga line in Japanese history. They started to yell a warning to the idiotic males, but they were far too late.

"WAT-"

"HA!!!!!!" A _big_ ball of energy, one almost as large as Ranma was tall, rocketed from his hands towards the trio. 

"Shi Shi Houkoudan! Shi Shi Houkoudan! Shi Shi Houkoudan!" Ryouga feverishly threw chi blasts to try to take care of the massive energy ball bearing on them. Having spent most of his energy, he fell to one knee from the power he spent in his attacks.

- Update for Monday, December 09, 2002 Ends here

- Update for Tuesday, December 10, 2002 Begins

Ranma smirked. The fiancées looked on with abject horror. The trio was pissing in their pants. 

Ranma raised a single palm. A small, yet brilliantly glowing beam of energy flew from his palm and detonated the ball. 

'Like a shock combo. Damn, it works after all.'

The trio, the fiancées, and Nabiki flew back from the sheer force of the blast. Ranma stayed in place, smirking at the carnage he just wrought. In one step, too.

"Gotta stop turning this place into an Unreal Tournament match." Apparently, Nerdboy had showed Ranma the light and revealed unto him the glory of computer games in their short month together. It may not be real…but there were some _nasty_ weapons and carnage in that game.

Cologne showed up in the blink of an eye. She gaped at the destruction and carnage wrought upon the streets. She came in time to see Ranma fire off a Kamehameha, and there was a gaping hole where the trio once stood. The trio was sent in three different directions; Ryouga to   
Akane, Mousse to Shampoo, and Kunou towards Ukyou. Besides…that attack felt _different_. It wasn't chi, and that was the extent of Cologne's knowledge. Did he finally tap into some hidden power? Or was it some totally new one?

Ranma turned to Cologne and smirked. Greetings, Honored Matriarch. 

Cologne was shocked. First, Ranma greeted her _respectfully_. Second, he spoke in perfect Chinese. Not just any dialect too: _Jusenkyou Amazon Dialect_. Will the wonders of this child never cease? Wait…Ranma was looking…different. Somehow. Almost…intelligent? As if there was something in that head of his?

- Update for Tuesday, December 10, 2002 Ends here.

Questions? Comments?

E-Mail us at DrAkiM2@yahoo.com

Further ideas:

Sailor Suited Dancers – the Death causing Dance of Death.

Ranma as Evil Incarnate…with the Dollar Bill of Corruption!


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